I think I’ve missed out on something
I’m an only child.
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. To be the big sister, or even the little sister. To look up to someone, or have someone look up to me.
I have no idea what it feels like to share a home and a parent with someone else.
I don’t necessarily know if my childhood would have been happier with a sister, but I’m sure I would be different. Of course I would be.
I don’t know if I would have four children if I had grown up with siblings.
I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t. A big family was my dream, because I was an only. I knew I didn’t want to have an only child. I wanted children. Children that would grow up together. Children that would help each other and take care of each other. Children that would fight and argue and laugh and be silly together. Children that would team up against Mom, and work together for a common goal. Children that would tease each other, and children that would stick up for each other just as easily. Children who would care about each others struggles and accomplishments with genuine feelings.
I know that I could have used some help when I was growing up.
I’m sure it would be nice to be a little sister, and always have someone lead the way for you. Just like I’m sure it would be nice to be a big sister, and get to lead the way.
I don’t know how that works. I only know my own way. Which is not always a great quality.
I do know how to be by myself. Which is something these girls are not so good at.
Alone and quiet are not words that they relate to.
I never had anyone to fight with, share clothes with, listen to music and watch TV with. I didn’t play Barbies with anyone but me, and I always got to be the teacher when I played school. I also never whispered to anyone in the dark and I never had someone to tell my secrets to.
I don’t need these sisters to grow up and be best friends. They are all different, and I know their different interests will lead them down different paths.
I do need them to know how lucky they are to have each other.
Do I want them to grow up and get married and live happily ever after right next door to each other? Sure. That would be nice, if real life were like a movie. But it’s not.
The most I hope for is that they will grow up and be there for one another. That they will be friends who respect and support each other. Adults who love and have each other when their father and I are long gone.
Some days I’m not even sure that is possible.
And other days, I don’t see how it is not possible.
Posted: February 28th, 2008 under Parental Observations, Picture Posts.
Comments: 29
Comments
Comment from Chrissy
Time: February 28, 2008, 12:32 am
Gorgeous pictures, gorgeous girls. I grew up in a family with three girls, and I absolutely loved it. Today, we all live in different cities and hardly ever get to see each other, but we are still so close. We’ve helped each other through many many trials.
What a wonderful post.
Comment from chickadaee
Time: February 28, 2008, 12:40 am
those are precious photos. i had one sister and we weren’t close. as i began having children i knew i wanted a lot so they would have each other. i just wish i’d known it sooner so i could have squeezed a few more in.
Comment from Heidi
Time: February 28, 2008, 1:01 am
I have the same wishes for my boys. I try to stress all the time that they are family and they have a built in best friend, etc. At the moment, we are in a ‘good period’ - they don’t fight a lot, but they have a lot of fun together. But there was a time when I thought they would never, ever learn to like each other. I guess it goes up and down.
I am not particularly close to my siblings, primarily because we live so far away. However, this year has been wonderful for reestablishing that relationship, and we’ve all realized that there is something *special* about a sibling - you share the same memories, the same parents. It does make a difference.
Your girls are lovely - they are different, but I think that’s probably going to be a good thing in the end. Plus they have a mother who’ll never let them forget how lucky they are to have each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if your girls did end up living close to each other!
Heidi
PS: Had a heck of a time accessing your site yesterday. Could see your WW picture in my google reader, but Could.Not.Open your blog. Strange, huh?
Comment from Chrissy
Time: February 28, 2008, 1:23 am
Great post, beautiful pictures!! My older sister only lived until she was 16 and we were close! Yes we fought like sisters do, regardless she was always there for me and I was there for her! I would always chose to have a sibling to grow up with! I am so thankful for the time we did share!
At 15 I became an only and never liked it!
Comment from Martha
Time: February 28, 2008, 5:42 am
What a great post, Lisa! Those pictures are incredible.
Wanna be sisters?
xoxox
Comment from Sister Honey Bunch
Time: February 28, 2008, 7:26 am
I have 4 sisters and 3 sisters-in-law. We are each others best friend. (Those pictures are just precious.) I can’t imagine not having them around.
Now my poor kid has no sibling. You tell me how to handle that! 
Comment from Kari
Time: February 28, 2008, 8:13 am
Great pictures, I love that last one. It’s so sweet! There is definately a special bond between sisters. Sometimes I feel sad that my daughter will never know what it’s like to have a sister; she has three brothers. They bicker and fight, but, in the next moment they laugh and play together. It’s almost always noisy and chaotic at our house, but, all in all it’s pretty great having four kids, don’t you think!
Comment from sheila
Time: February 28, 2008, 8:17 am
i love this post and the pictures too. i feel that in the way you are raising these girls, that they will be friends and “tight” as they grow up and after.if they are raised knowing family is important and bonds and loyalty a priority, they will live by it. If possible, i think everyone should have at least 3 kids because raising only 1 or 2 just goes by way too fast.
Comment from Jess
Time: February 28, 2008, 8:27 am
Lisa, as a mom of two little girls, your post brought tears to my eyes. You said exactly how my heart feels about my girls, but I could never find the right words to explain. Thank you.
I have two older brothers and always desperately wanted a sister. When we found out that baby#2 was going to be another girl, I was beyond thrilled. In a perfect world, I would have had 3 girls and a boy, but unfortunately, my body failed me and it wasn’t meant to be. But, our two girls are my miracles, my light, and my world.
That last picture captured everything your post said. Seriously….that one is priceless.
Your blog is one of my very favorites. And this post really touched me.
Jess
Comment from ValleyGirl
Time: February 28, 2008, 8:43 am
This post could SO have been written by me!! (except you did a much better job than I would have!) I’m a ‘lonely’ child too and specifically wanted more than one kid because of it. Hubby and I had a VERY rough first year of marriage (well, *I* had a very rough first year!) and I think, largely, the issues I had wouldn’t have been issues if I’d grown up with a sibling or two.
I wanted 2-5 kids when we first got married, but after two problematic pregnancies, we decided it was better for everyone to stop at two. But at least they’ll grow up sharing space, having different personalities and opinions and making adjustments for that, and having someone who’s always in their corner, even if they’re not always getting along like best friends. (at least, I hope that’s how it will work out!)
Comment from Jul
Time: February 28, 2008, 9:17 am
Great post! I have the same hopes for my girls!
Comment from nottryingforaboy
Time: February 28, 2008, 9:28 am
Great post.
I have one older sister and we were more enemies than friends growing up. Even now we have our close moment and our not so close moments.
Ironically, she only lives 4 blocks away and we rarely see them aside from “family” stuff.
I think it was because of my relationship with her that made me want to have at least 3 kids. I wanted a higher chance that some of them would end up close.
Comment from Melanie
Time: February 28, 2008, 10:02 am
Oh, that post brought tears to my eyes. Each of your girls will be thankful you gave them sisters, beleive me. I grew up with one sister and it was amazing. We did everything together, we stayed up late talking because we shared a room, we leaned on each other in good times and bad and later we were even pregnant with our first children together! It really is a special bond between sisters! Thanks for all the great photos of your girls growing up together.
Comment from Suzy
Time: February 28, 2008, 10:10 am
Wow, I totally relate to this post. Thanks for putting your thoughts into words!
Comment from Queen B
Time: February 28, 2008, 10:18 am
That is such a sweet post.
A friend of mine once told me that the best gift you can give to your children is a sibling. I can imagine that your kids–especially those sweet girls–will always be grateful to you for that gift!!
Comment from Nan Patience
Time: February 28, 2008, 10:29 am
Great post!
I’m a middle child, so I guess I have the best of both worlds–and the worst, too! My husband was an only child, and I sometimes think he doesn’t really get some of the feelings I picked up in childhood.
Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: February 28, 2008, 11:21 am
Those pictures are priceless. There is nothing like sibling love. Growing up with one sister and two brothers myself, I always feel a little sorry for “onlys.” It sounds very lonely to me, albeit peaceful.
Comment from Kat from The Burb Blog
Time: February 28, 2008, 12:03 pm
It is hard when siblings don’t get along. I know this is one of the biggest dissapointments for my parents. My sister and I argue like crazy but we are always there for one another when it comes down to it. When our brother passed away, we bonded and then a week later we were fighting again. I dream that someday we will get along and that there was a day when we did get along.
Comment from Deb - Mom of 3 Girls
Time: February 28, 2008, 12:19 pm
Oh that was such a wonderful post to read! I know that one reason I wanted more than one child was because I had a brother growing up and I decided that the biggest gift I could give to my oldest was siblings. Whether they love or hate each other as they grow up, at least they’ll always have each other.
Love the pictures - your girls are beautiful!
Comment from Darcy
Time: February 28, 2008, 12:22 pm
Such a sweet post and precious pictures of your girls!
Comment from forcryeye
Time: February 28, 2008, 3:06 pm
What a great post girlfriend! I know first hand what it is to have a sister as a best friend. I wish we didn’t live so far away from each other. thanks for reminding me how lucky I am to have her. Don’t forget, you do have the sisterhood of the Huntley Hotties!
Comment from staciesmadness
Time: February 28, 2008, 4:50 pm
omg, make me cry.
that is a beautiful post!
Comment from Christie
Time: February 28, 2008, 6:47 pm
That was so beautiful! I loved how you said, “…if like were like a movie. It’s not.” Wise words.
I grew up with four brothers. I always thought I wanted sisters until I went to college and lived with six girls. Then I was really glad I had only brothers. And now I have sisters…they’re just my sisters-in-law.
Comment from Julie
Time: February 28, 2008, 7:50 pm
Oh my, you said everything I would want to say. I’m an only myself and my husband knows that one child is just not possible. (He’s 1 of 3). Thanks for saying it so wonderfully!
Julie
Comment from Becky @ Boys Rule My Life
Time: February 28, 2008, 8:40 pm
Oh, Lisa, that was just beautiful! And you girls are so precious! Sweet, sweet pictures, too. Loved it!
Comment from Elaine
Time: February 28, 2008, 10:16 pm
What a wonderfully sweet and honest post. You have such beautiful children - I love that first picture - what dolls!
Comment from Laura
Time: February 28, 2008, 11:55 pm
Your kids are so cute and I can see the love between them already!!
Comment from Mary@notbefore7
Time: March 1, 2008, 8:29 pm
Well said. I have a brother and sister and we are as different as can be. (Three points of a triangle as my parents say) BUT, there for each other through thick and thin!
Comment from Susan
Time: March 19, 2008, 12:18 am
Hi— I too am an only child, and so is my husband. We have three young daughters and i feel the same way as you. Beautiful post.
Susan
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