Take 90 West » If she could just stay little till her Carter’s wear out.

If she could just stay little till her Carter’s wear out.

My oldest daughter is in fourth grade.

When I was in fourth grade I don’t really remember what was the ‘in’ thing to be wearing. I think it was Jordache jeans. And Polo shirts with the collars turned up. High style. Especially if the jeans were black.

These days, it seems to be all about the tshirt for my fourth grader. Not just any tshirt, but one that screams ABERCROMBIE or HOLLISTER across the front of it. It would seem that not owning one of these shirts is the equivalent to being Steve Urkel.

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And we wouldn’t want that.

I have resisted buying one all year. I’ve seen her friends come and go in their A&F tshirts and I’ve been amazed that my daughter hasn’t mentioned it.

Now, she’s mentioned it. She needed a couple new things for Spring anyway, so off I went the other day to my local Abercrombie & Fitch. I was going to go to Hollister, but I will be honest with y’all and say the fact that they don’t even have a sign on their store bugs me. A little too secure in their shirt pedaling abilities I’d say.

I may regret this brutal honesty later, and show you all just how uncool I really am, but I will go ahead and say that I had never been in an A & F store before.

I’d be lying if I didn’t mention I was a little nervous. And felt that I looked like Roseanne Connor walking into Victoria’s Secret.

Anyway. I was there. On the cusp of my first Abercrombie visit. Nervous, but ready to immerse myself in the experience. It seems like just yesterday I was shopping for my daughter’s clothes at Carter’s. And they haven’t worn out yet.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in was how dark it was in there. My eyes needed a moment to adjust. And then the music hit me. It was just a tad on the LOUD side. Usually, obnoxiously LOUD music bugs me, unless it is my own. But in the interest of fully enjoying my first A&F experience, and the fact that Cher was doing a heck of a job belting out the words to Strong Enough, I embraced it. I was even able to sing along and no one could hear me.

I also managed to avoid a migraine from all the cologne smell by taking three Tylenols before I even set foot in the store. I’d been warned about the smell. And I was ready. A good shopping experience is all in the preparation Interpeeps. Indeed.

I was greeted by a petite little sales girl. Who made me feel like I was the size of Big Foot. But she was polite enough, saying, “Heyyyyy…whaz goin’ onnnn?”

“ ‘Sup? ” I replied.

(Not really.)

((I only talk gangsta to people I know.))

I found a little tshirt, size extra small, for my daughter. It was cute enough, in a letters across the front of your chest, I can wear an extra small, kind of way.

I was perusing around a bit more, singing along to Cher when I found a clearance section in the back. Stocked full of little tshirts with all the Abercrombie and Fitch lettering you could possibly want to wear.

I had picked up two when the salesgirl found me.

She said, “Heyyyy, you wanna try those onnnnnn?”

I didn’t respond. Because she couldn’t possibly have been talking to me.

But she asked again.

And I realized she was talking to me. I politely smiled and shook my head no, but what I really wanted to say was,

“Are you kidding? Do you see the size of these shirts? They would be stretched to make it around my upper thigh, let alone my whole TORSO.”

“And how do you even know I am carrying anything? Because I’ve had them tucked under my arm while I have been shopping and they’ve DISAPPEARED! So if the fabric disappears behind the girth of my upper arm, I don’t think the shirts could possibly fit me. I require a bit more of the fabric.”

“But thanks so much for asking.”

What a sweet thing she was.

I paid for the two shirts and went on my merry way. Still, singing the Cher. Because I’m strong enough.

While I was driving home, I kept smelling something. It wasn’t really bad, just strong. I could not figure out what it was.

I decide it must be my hair. Because I was using this great new Rusk hairspray. And it was the only variable I could see that would be smelling. (And I’m dumb.)

I was disappointed. Because the hairspray was working quite well. I feel that, even though I was the largest person in the Abercrombie, I definitely had the best hair.

I went home and hung the shirts up in my daughters closet. I even gave them each a nice, sturdy wooden hanger, like the kind I use for coats. Because they aren’t just tshirts to me, they were an experience.

I went about my day and I walked into my mudroom to put something away. And I smelled it again. The smell from the car. Hmmm. I started sniffing around in each corner of the room. Like a dog.

Sniff sniff.

And then I realized what the smell was.

My coat.

It smelled like the Abercrombie store.

4 hours later.

And I didn’t really mind it all that much.

I guess all the Abercrombie is starting to grow on me.

I may even buy a tshirt for each of my thighs.

Posted: April 23rd, 2008 under Embarrassing Myself with my Ramblings.
Comments: 32

Comments

Comment from JanMary, N Ireland
Time: April 23, 2008, 12:55 am

LOL! My dh is a huge fan of A&F, and checks out their store locator before he goes on a trip to US - but as you say…he could just inhale!

Fotrunately by daughters have not got into labels yet…but I know it is only a matter of time.

Comment from Jen on the Edge
Time: April 23, 2008, 2:02 am

We must be a family of Urkels, because none of us has ever been in an A&F and I’ve never heard of Hollister. I don’t know if we have either of those stores in our small town.

My girls have never requested anything they’ve seen their peers wearing, which I know won’t last much longer.

Comment from Mary B
Time: April 23, 2008, 5:53 am

I think they purposely make those stores dark so the aging parents who deny the fact they might need bifocals soon can’t see the price tags.
On a side note, find a Hollister outlet. Most of their t-shirts are $10.00. You won’t break your bank account while keeping the little ones in style.

Comment from Pattik
Time: April 23, 2008, 6:23 am

That is soooo funny! I really enjoy your blog.
Where do they find those tiny people that work there?

Comment from chrissy in the carpoollane
Time: April 23, 2008, 7:46 am

A shirt for each of your thighs! That made me laugh.

Comment from Jen
Time: April 23, 2008, 7:53 am

What a great story! I’m not sure I want my fourth grader to grow up, either.

Comment from Lisa
Time: April 23, 2008, 8:24 am

Last time I walked BY AandF I knew I would NEVER EVER go in, there were a pair of jr hi-maybe hi schoolers working there, half naked posing, sitting in a chair together skin to skin, like models, I guess. I was totally grossed out, and really really pissed that my 3 little kids had to see that with their virgin eyes. Why Why WHy. I am so sick of the pornofication of our kids. My 5th grader is totally turning into a man, but could care LEss what he puts on that boy-man body. THANK GOD. -let me get this straight, I am not judging you, not one bit, this is just my feeling, and now that I wrote it if it sounds judgy, its not.. dont hate me for my view, take 90. Cuz I really luv ya, and would be crushed it you banned me from your world.okay??
Lisa
coastalnest

Comment from Queen B
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:01 am

So funny!!! I love to laugh out loud!!!

I have so many observations. I won’t bore you with them all. But I have them.

I walked into our mall yesterday and immediately smelled it. Just from walking in the doors of that end of the mall.

I’m glad you had a good hair day.

And I bet if you’d busted out a ’sup, she would have left you alone.

Comment from Autumn Dahlia
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:09 am

I feel like a 450 lb 85 year old woman when I am in those stores. And the kids that work there always talk in questions, no matter what they’re saying:

“So if you , like, wanna to try one of these on, they’re like buy one get one half off? And if you sign up for the card? You, like, get another 10% off?”

Comment from Toni
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:17 am

by way of monicamingo. LOL! I had that same expereince and doesn’t it make you angry that it’s so dark and the dang price tags are brown. How am I suppose to see?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Comment from Jennifer
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:20 am

Oh how I love your stories! Especially this one. I liked Abercrombie when I was young. And, I still like it for my son. BUT I too feel like a grandma, on her very last leg of life, when I’m in there. And, the music DRIVES ME NUTS! I won’t, I mean can’t hear or talk on my cell phone. And, I won’t bring my son in because, I’m scared his poor little ears will be scarred for life! In some ways, I’m glad we don’t have one where I live (but we tend to travel to them ALOT) because I’m a little afraid that I’d scar my own OLD ears!

What did your daughter do when she saw the shirts? I remember how important “name brand” clothes were to me when I was growing up. I bet she squealed with delight!

Smiles,
Jen

Comment from Christie
Time: April 23, 2008, 11:23 am

I thank the good lord for sending me two boys first. They have no interest in the A&F tshirts. I can smell that cologne, just from reading this. Anything to avoid that store.

And if you do go out and get two t-shirts for your thighs, please post a picture. We need to see that.

Comment from Suzy
Time: April 23, 2008, 1:47 pm

HILARIOUS.

Comment from New Diva
Time: April 23, 2008, 2:12 pm

I am glad I have a boy that is in fourth grade, because although A & F and Hollister are cool, he just doesn’t really care that much. I did buy a gift in Hollister once, I felt old but I think I did o.k.

I know when my daughter becomes a certain age, I am in big trouble whatever the trend shall be.

Comment from Darcie
Time: April 23, 2008, 2:20 pm

Hilarious! I’m surprised though that you didn’t mention anything about the absolutely absurd cost of those two tiny t-shirts. My daughter is huge on Abercrombie and it just about breaks the bank.

Comment from Jan
Time: April 23, 2008, 7:47 pm

Too funny. I will say that the salesgirl did a good job.

Comment from sheila
Time: April 23, 2008, 8:05 pm

i read this this morning and then laughed about it all day long. i am posting reference to it on my blog later tonight- also i just read it again to my girls and they too died laughing.

Comment from Wendi
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:11 pm

“I may even buy a t-shirt for each of my thighs.”
You. Are. Hilarious.
I gave you a little “linky love” on my blog today.
Thanks again for the laughs!

Comment from Aimee
Time: April 23, 2008, 9:23 pm

OMG! You just completely and hysterically captured everything I hate about those teen stores these days! Well done!! You’ve got a new lurker in me!

Comment from Suzie
Time: April 24, 2008, 1:16 am

this is hilarious. I too have found myself in those stores and for the sake of my girls, I act “too kewl for skool” instead of rolling my eyes at it all.
lately I tell them “you’ve got 7 minutes”
Shop. That’s all I can take.

Comment from Alice Gold
Time: April 24, 2008, 6:09 am

Oh pure enjoyment. I was laughing out loud as promised….great writing. My oldest girl is only 8 and I also have a 6 and 4 year old….NOT looking forward to shopping at places like this.

I had a thought…with those shirts tucked under your arm maybe she asked you if you wanted to try them on so you would know they she knew they were under there…maybe she thought you were actually going to try and steal them.

I imagined a better ending to the story that I thought you may enjoy. One of those teeny shirts stayed accidently tucked under your arm, and it fell onto the floor of your car and acted as an air freshener…that would be one heck of an expensive air freshener, but with the way the smell was able to last maybe it would be worth it.:)

Comment from Alice Gold
Time: April 24, 2008, 6:10 am

P.S. I loved the Rosanne reference (i coincidentaly referenced her today in my post too) and who doesn’t LOVE Urkel…I would be a proud mama if my kids turned out as fun and nerdy as him….and then I would sit them down and make them watch every last rerun, encouraging their uniqueness!

Comment from Nicole@OnTheRun
Time: April 24, 2008, 6:53 am

My brother and I lived for Friday nights when Urkel was featured as part of the TGIF lineup. Good stuff. And I am not all ashamed.

We also loved ALF.

And Perfect Strangers.

It’s a wonder we’re contributing members of society today.

Comment from faithful chick
Time: April 24, 2008, 10:46 am

Wow…the Steve E. pick is bringing back some memories.

A&F is not a store I can handle. My allergies suffer for weeks. WEEKS!

Comment from Ok, Where Was I?
Time: April 24, 2008, 11:21 am

I love it–one for each of your thighs. Hilarious.
Sarah

Comment from Carolyn
Time: April 24, 2008, 11:58 am

Oh the joys of your day. Just cracks me up every time I visit! You are too funny!
I don’t know if A&F would have a shirt to fit either one of my thighs! More like LB would be where my t-shirts would have to come from. And who wants to wear that across their thighs, must less their chests! I LOVED Urkel on TGIF!

Comment from Mary@notbefore7
Time: April 24, 2008, 9:05 pm

OK, so I can’t stand that store. (have written about it before) But I loved your post. Yep, you described the “experience” well ;0) Hope your legs enjoy their shirts.

I do have two little girls who think the front entrance is their own personal night club and they kick it in the mall. Everytime we go by. Those petite little sales girls think it is cute

Comment from Soliloquy
Time: April 25, 2008, 3:49 pm

*snort*. My waaay younger sister has this joke about salespeople in A&F and Hollister YELLING to each other that they don’t have of this that or the other thing in a 2 or a 0, but they’ve got it in a Minus 2.

You KILL me. Mind if I add you to my blogroll? Just say the word. You’re there.

Pingback from I’ve Just Got to Say It Saturday « She Just Had to Say It
Time: April 26, 2008, 8:12 pm

[…] 90 West disturbed me with her bunny story. I gasped. Her first foray into Abercrombie & Fitch made me laugh out […]

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If she could just stay little till her Carter’s wear out.

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